Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire
by Tim Collins
Illustrated by Andrew Pinder
Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager......HE'S A VAMPIRE! But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed, he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed....well, forget it! Nigel got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and still had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. Nigel just may be the first and only lame vampire on record.
When a beautiful new girl comes to school, Nigel is determined to impress her. Of course, that would mean actually speaking to her......and he will.......eventually. But until he can win the girl and the respect of his family, Nigel will just be utterly lame.
Let me start off by saying that this book was pretty funny. My hopes were high for it to be the next new thing for Diary of a Wimpy Kid fans, but now having read it, it's really more the next new thing for fans of vampire satire. There are a few jabs at the Twilight series in it that I found amusing (he agrees to watch her all night while she's sleeping, and is so bored that he wants to go get a magazine from the 24 hour convenience store, but is afraid she'll wake up while he's gone). I do think fans of Diary of Wimpy Kid will enjoy it, if for nothing else than the format, which is very similar to Wimpy Kid. The story itself is really more about Nigel's love for his classmate Chloe, and him overcoming his fears and insecurities to win her heart. I liked how it ended, because the main character gained confidence in himself, instead of constantly wishing that he were a different person (or vampire).
Rating: Check it out from the library